Outside, in Marrero's beloved yard, a rose bush she planted is missing two buds, clipped so the petals could be slipped into Marrero's pockets before her casket was lowered into the ground.

On the screened back patio, a 10-year-old Rottweiler named Kilo studies the blue uniforms of visiting police officers, awaiting Marrero's return.

In the immaculate home she and Marrero shared for a decade, Officer Mickie Mashburn found herself surrounded by such reminders Wednesday as she talked about her companion, slain last week by a bank robbery suspect.

``The first night I was here [after Marrero's death] I came through the door and expected to hear her say, `What took you so long?' '' Mashburn said. ``It's like losing the right side of my body.

``We were so happy. I don't think anyone could ever fill her place. She will always be in my heart.''

Marrero, 40, was 15 months from retirement after almost two decades on the police force. She was thinking about a new career as an investigator for a local attorney. Law school was a possibility, too. An avid runner, Marrero was training for the Chicago Marathon.

And yet, in the days before her death, Marrero seemed preoccupied. She talked about organizing a get-together with colleagues, perhaps a day cruise. She had spoken about her mortality with a supervisor.

``Everything, now that I look back, was kind of strange that week,'' said Mashburn, 48, a 15-year veteran assigned to the sex crimes unit.

Late Friday morning, Marrero and Mashburn spoke by cellphone. They planned to attend a women's basketball game in Orlando that night. In the background, Mashburn heard Marrero's police radio buzz to life. Marrero said she had to go, immediately.

``I had this feeling,'' Mashburn recalled of that moment. ``It was like I kind of got chills. I said, `Please be careful. I love you, be careful.'

``I know this is going to sound strange, but I think she [had a bad feeling], too.''

Mashburn went to lunch, still worried. Soon afterward, a colleague approached her in the sandwich shop.

``The look on his face, I thought, `Oh, my God,' '' she recalled.

She knew, without being told, that Marrero was dead.

``She always thought that something like that might happen,'' Mashburn said. ``We had many times that we talked about it. But when you go out to do your job - any officer will tell you - it's not [a consideration] anymore.

``I firmly believe, and so did Lois, that when the Lord opens that book and says, `Today is for [you],' that's it.''

Marrero was such a hands-on officer, Mashburn said, that she worried about others before herself.

``I used to always say, `Lois, please be careful, whatever you do,' '' she said. ``I had concerns about her being on the street. She loved working the streets.''

Marrero, who was wearing a bulletproof vest, was shot twice by bank robbery suspect Nester Luis DeJesus as she pursued him. One bullet struck her in the neck, one in the side.

DeJesus killed himself after a three-hour standoff with police. His girlfriend, Paula Andrea Gutierrez, is being held in the incident on charges of first-degree murder and armed robbery.

Since the shooting, colleagues, family and friends have remained by Mashburn's side. Wednesday, a small group sat around her Citrus Park home.

``I think the reality really hit me [Tuesday] when we were at the grave site and they were lowering her into the ground,'' she said. ``I couldn't believe I would never see her again.

``I thought, `Why couldn't I have been the one? I've lived longer, I've experienced more.' ''

She said she knows Marrero would have told her to snap out of it.

Mashburn said Marrero would be proud of the outpouring of support among law enforcement and in the community.

``I know Lois is able to look down and say, `Man, I really did a good job,' '' she said.

After the funeral, Mashburn, her colleagues and family ate dinner at a Carrollwood restaurant. The group talked for hours about Marrero and better times.

``We laughed so much my throat was sore,'' Mashburn said. ``No one will be able to take those good memories from you.''

By Monday, Mashburn expects to be back at work.

``There's no doubt in my mind Lois would want me to do that,'' she said. ``She's going to be looking down. She's going to be my guardian angel.''

Myrtle Hill Cemetery is more than 10 miles from Mashburn's home, but she said she will go there every day to place a rose on Marrero's grave.

Some day soon, she likely will plant one of Marrero's rose bushes at the grave.

``In a year, people are probably going to go there and say, `I know she's buried here but where? There are so many flowers.' ''

Gary Sprott can be reached at gsprott@tampatrib.com259-7837.

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