Md. Gay Man Adopts His Partner, Makes 32-Year Relationship Legal

By Phuong Ly
Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, May 26, 2001; Page B05

A Silver Spring man has adopted his gay partner of 32 years in order to establish a legal family relationship, since they can't get married.

The petition, approved Thursday by Montgomery County Circuit Court Judge DeLawrence Beard, gives the men the right to make decisions about each other's medical care as well as claims of inheritance, said James Shrybman, their attorney.

Shrybman said the couple did not want to be publicly identified, and the court records are sealed, as they are in most adoption cases. Other gay couples have succeeded at such adoptions, but the cases are very unusual, legal experts say.

Shrybman described the couple as two middle-aged men who met in the 1960s. The older man, a writer, was adopted by the younger man, a consultant, Shrybman said.

The older man's parents are dead, according to the petition, and the court order consenting to the adoption requires that a new birth certificate be issued to him.

"These are two gay men who have been partners who have resided together for many years," Shrybman said. "They wanted to establish familial relationships, which they're barred from doing in terms of getting married."

Shrybman, who specializes in adoptions, said this was the first time he had petitioned for one gay partner to adopt another. He said he has done adoptions of children by gay couples and of young adults who are adopted so they can be eligible for legal or job-related benefits from their adoptive parents.

Myron Dean Quon, a deputy director of the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, a national gay-rights organization, said that the success of gay adoption petitions depends on the judge.

Some judges have denied such petitions, saying that the purpose of adoption is solely to establish parent-child relationships. Others approve the petitions, Quon said, because they realize that gay couples can't legally marry.

Quon said adoptions can be problematic because they are more restrictive than marriage. "You can't have a divorce at some point," he said. "It's not really a substitution for marriage for gay couples."

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