For Shar Ishee and other gay and lesbian employees of the Tampa police department, it became a moment frozen in time. “I held my breath as the flag was removed from the coffin, folded, and handed to the chief,” she recalls. “When the chief walked toward Mickie and embraced her, well, it’s hard to say how much it meant to me.”

The case also opened many people’s eyes to the rights gay men and lesbians lack, since Tampa law currently denies Mashburn access to her slain partner’s benefits. The Advocate spoke to Ishee, a veteran community service officer and friend of Marrero’s, about the aftermath of the murder. 

What went through your head when you heard about the shooting?
I was out of town, and someone called to tell me what had happened. My first thought was, “Oh, my God, what will happen to Mickie?” I was worried that she would not be considered the spouse of Lois that we all considered her. I feared she would be excluded in all the services that come after a police shooting.

Did you have reason to worry?
I’ve never been treated badly by anyone in the department. I’d certainly had spirited conversations [about gay rights] and overheard jokes but nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone knew Lois and Mickie were together, and it wasn’t a problem. But then again, we had never been faced with a situation like this. I knew the police benefit package specified spouse. I knew that could be a problem for Mickie.

Were your fears justified?
All of us have been pleasantly surprised by the reaction. The concerns turned out to be based mostly on our inner feelings and fears. We’ve been moved and amazed by not only our coworkers but by the [Tampa] community as well. The chief really set the tone. I went to him and thanked him for what he did at the funeral. He looked at me and said that it came straight from his heart. He knew it was the right thing to do. In his eulogy he took care to mention Mickie many times. He considered Mickie no less of a spouse than the one a straight officer would leave behind. That says a lot about him as a man.

What’s been the political reaction? In this case, it must be hard for the antigay activists to object to what you are asking.
Yes, I haven’t heard much protest. Tampa city councillor Linda Saul-Sena is behind a bill that would grant domestic-partner benefits to same-sex partners of city employees. They are looking at making it retroactive so Mickie can be included.

And to the gays and lesbians at the police department?
The whole thing has served as a wake-up call for lesbian and gay employees of the police and for the heterosexual employees who support our rights. I’ve had a lot of straights come up to me and say, “We didn’t know this was going on.” Now we all know that it could have happened to any of us.