Hindustan Times
Sunday May 13, 2001, New Delhi
    Features 
     

    Indian gays unite --- the cyber way
    Nadeem Ahmed
    (www.hindustantimes.com)

    THEY CAME out of the closet meekly in mid 90s and counted just a few hundred. Five years hence, India is home to "an estimated four crore-strong" gay community, which is not only growing but also declaring its identity loud and clear - courtesy Internet.

    Yes, the yet obscure Indian gays have gone high-tech to come out in open and unite for their cause. Ignoring the anti-homosexuality law under Section 377 of IPC, they are utilising the newfound freedom in the virtual world to shape their community and culture.

    Leaving behind the straightjackets, they are searching, discussing, polling, playing and straying - all at a click of mouse. They are talking live in specific chat rooms, looking for soul-mates, falling in love, having cyber-sex and crossing cities to be with each other.

    "Being a non-threatening medium, Internet is most suited to reach out to those still in hiding. It is playfully pushing the gay-lib movement in even smaller towns of India which has an estimated four crore gay population," says Shaleen Rakesh, programme co-ordinator of 'Men Who Have Sex With Men' support group of Naz foundation.

    But from where do they get on to this ecstatic cyber roller coaster. Well, there are many portals to serve the purpose.

    "The best and most supportive sites, which inculcate a sense of belonging among Indian gays, come out of Delhi and Mumbai, each of which has five lakh gays. But the rest of the country is fast catching up," Shaleen said.

    "Gay and lesbian chat rooms at Yahoo's India chat section and several other mainstream sites are becoming popular meeting points of Indian origin gays, even though they also attract droves of straight males seeking voyeuristic kicks," he added.

    "India's first gay web site http://members.tripod.com/gaydelhi has really helped form a sense of community and played a vital role in building up the gay culture in Delhi," said a gay counselor B Rana of Delhi.

    The gaydelhi site provides information about gay events, parties and issues, offers dating and lifestyle tips and even the job and accommodation avenues for the gays besides more than 75 related links.

    A list of gay employers looking for gay employees and a photo gallery to rate the pictures of the gays provide an interesting insight to the evolving gay culture in India.

    Similarly the sites like http://www.DatingDesis.com have enlivened the gays further with scores of them advertising for partners, often in explicit details about their expectations. Transgender Indians and Boy2Boy clubs on www.123india.com are also popular among them.

    "Yes, the Internet has decidedly taken the country's gay male culture by storm. And where will it go from here. No prizes for guessing," says Rana.

    But the Mumbai gay activists seem to know the answer to Rana's query. "WWW is lifeline for Mumbai activists and it will be a part of life for gays all over India soon," says Shaleen, who has worked as a gay volunteer in the metropolis for three years.

    The best sites originating from Mumbai are www.gayMumbai.com and www.Mumbai-dost.com. A help-line for lesbian and gay women of Mumbai called Aanchal Help Line also has a web page at http://www.main.org/trikonetejas/aanchal/atop.html .

    Besides, the Indian gay network has crossed international borders too. . "While the web site www.trikone.org is pivotal for Indian gays, bisexual and lesbians based abroad www.gayguide.net/asia/india caters to the needs of travellers who are looking for suggestions and tips," Shaleen said.

    An interesting overseas site for gay people is www.gay.com chat. And it is for free. The rooms have monitors, so anyone behaving offensively is booted. They have separate chat areas for men and women, although they are not mutually exclusive.

    However, the gay flirting on the net is not always a pleasurable experience for many.

    "Actual experiences include disliking each other on their first real-life meeting despite an intimate relationship on-line. Many of them feel cheated when they meet in real life and find out that their cyber pals are far older than what they looked in their photographs on the web. Probably the mailed snaps were taken years ago," Shaleen said.

    "One hapless individual remained depressed for months when his cyber soul-mate did not turn up at the designated meeting point," he said. "But I know many of them who have found their partners at the click of mouse".

    A net freak gay Mukul (name changed), who is a regular visitor to 'Milan' centre in South Delhi, was all praise for the medium. "In my case it was the love at first site when we met in a Yahoo chat room. I liked his cyber name. It took two months for our virtual relationship to grow passionate. And a month later when we met in real world, it was a love at first sight again".

    But amidst this fun and frolic, there are some serious gay web spaces too.

    The Hamsafar Trust site proclaims - "We are India's gay organisation helping self-identified gay men and men-having-sex-with-men to come to terms with their sexuality... we suggest ways to have safe sex".

    But serious or non-serious, can the virtual activism lead to their acceptance in real world too. Only time will tell.

    Return to TBC News