The same-sex partners of gay troops in the unit, though, had to say their farewells in secret, behind closed doors.
That's how it was for J.R., who sent the 82nd Airborne soldier he describes as the love of his life off to war with a Bible, a rosary and a medal of St. Michael, the warrior's patron saint.
"I felt cheated," said J.R., a North Carolina resident. "I watched the goodbyes on TV. I would have liked to be there too, waving to him."
Because of the military's decade-old "don't ask, don't tell" policy, that was not possible.
Although the controversial rule, adopted during the Clinton administration, allows gays and lesbians to serve, it requires them to keep their sexual orientation a secret. Under "don't ask, don't tell," soldiers can be discharged not just for homosexual conduct, but for simply acknowledging they are gay.
The rules are problematic during peacetime, critics say, but in times of war they put an added burden on homosexual soldiers and their loved ones.
"Imagine what a 20-year-old soldier is feeling facing a war zone," said Nathaniel Frank, of the Center for the Study of Sexual Minorities in the Military, a University of California, Santa Barbara, think tank. "Then imagine doubling the burden.
"They can't talk to their peers, they can't even talk to clergy or social workers." If their orientation were revealed, it could trigger an investigation, Frank said.
"The partners we have talked to are very distressed," said Steve Ralls, spokesman for the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, a legal aid and advocacy group for homosexual soldiers. "They are left with no support and with very few options in terms of keeping in touch."
The Department of Defense did not return calls for comment.
Ralls said his organization had seen a sharp increase in calls since mobilization began. The group has received 281 inquiries since Jan. 1, a 30 percent increase over the same period last year.
There is no way to know how many homosexuals are in the armed forces, but the Center for the Study of Sexual Minorities in the Military puts a conservative estimate at 60,000.
Brian, who like J.R. is afraid to use his real name, saw his Air Force officer partner deployed six weeks ago. After five years he is used to impersonal goodbyes in public.
"The hellos are even worse," said Brian, a Philadelphia native who works for a Los Angeles talent agency. "We have to shake hands and pretend we're just friends."
The current separation has been the toughest, Brian said. While the families of straight soldiers have a support network, Brian, whose partner keeps a photo of a woman on his desk as part of a cover story he created, is alone.
"The military has a lot of activities on the base to keep spouses busy and informed," he said. But he can't go on base.
Among the supports offered to partners of deployed soldiers are counseling, child care, and a 24-hour phone referral service. Navy families can reach sailors at sea through video teleconferencing at some bases.
For deployed homosexual soldiers, a simple thing like pinning up a photo of a loved one can be risky. Staying in touch is difficult because the military can monitor letters and e-mail.
Brian said he and his partner had worked out some codes to communicate endearments, but, he said, "mostly our e-mails are sterile and cryptic."
J.R. developed a scheme to allow him to speak his heart to his partner, who fears not just discharge but violence from antigay soldiers. (The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network documented more than 800 incidents of harassment in 2002.) Two women rewrite his letters - his handwriting looks too masculine, he said - and J.R. signs them with his first name, which is conveniently unisex.
W.F., whose partner left for Kuwait from Good Fellow Air Force Base in Texas in January, is also cautious. Although most of his platoon knows he is gay, W.F. said, his fears that messages could be screened make him think hard about what he writes. "I can't be too specific, like telling him how much I miss him," W.F. said. "I wish I could be more open."
Lynne, who opened a dummy e-mail account to write to the female naval officer she is involved with, said her partner had been at sea so long that she was bolder about what she put in her messages. "You can't be superficial," Lynne said. "We wouldn't be able to stay close."
Lynne, who lives in California, is keenly aware of the toll that "don't ask, don't tell" imposes. A former naval officer, she was one of 906 who were discharged from the military during the last year for being gay.
While many of the people she worked with knew she was lesbian, her discharge was triggered when she told the truth to her command. "I couldn't live that way anymore," she said. "I felt strongly about lying. I'd been taught from birth about honor."
When Lynne came clean, the Navy delayed her discharge for more than two years. "My commanding officer said he was sorry to have to let me go. He said, `I disagree with this policy.' That really surprised me."
According to a just-released Servicemembers Legal Defense Network report, the 906 discharges last year were down from 1,273 in 2001. The report cites a growing reluctance to discharge gay and lesbian soldiers. "They seem to be coming to the realization they don't necessarily impact the cohesion of the unit," Ralls said.
The report also cites the war buildup, noting that discharges for homosexuality have declined during every conflict since the Korean War.
Critics of "don't ask, don't tell" question the logic of sending homosexual troops into battle and discharging them in peacetime. They point out that 23 nations - including all the members of NATO except the United States and Turkey - have found a way to integrate homosexuals into the military. Britain just announced that the partners of gay and lesbian soldiers killed in Iraq would receive their military pensions and other benefits.
"I support the troops 115 percent and I support the president," said J.R., who has hung an American flag in his living room as a tribute to his partner. "It's just a sad statement he can go in and fight for his country and die for his country and he can't say goodbye to me. Just because of who he loves doesn't mean he can't do his job."