Rosie gets rave reviews for message
By Beth Berlo

``I am a gay parent," talk show host Rosie O'Donnell told the country during a highly publicized ABC ``Prime Time Live" interview with Diane Sawyer March 14. They were words many waited to hear, more already suspected, and millions were moved by. But O'Donnell's announcement wasn't so much a Hollywood coming-out story as it was a decision to shine the spotlight on Florida's effort to remove a 10-year-old boy from the home of a gay male couple who raised him since he was an infant.

``Prime Time" and ABC have received more feedback from that segment than any other, according to ABC. ``We've had over 900,000 hits on our [online] message board," said ABC News spokesman Adam Prockriss from New York. ``It's the highest we've ever gotten." The bulk of comments have been positive, he said.

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) filed its federal lawsuit challenging Florida's adoption ban in 1999 which marked the first time a federal court has been asked whether it's constitutional to ban gay adoption. Late last summer, a federal judge upheld the law before the case went to trial. In February, the ACLU took the case to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit, where it will be heard later this year.

Florida's law is known to be the toughest ban on gay adoption in the country -- prohibiting all gay people from adopting children. The law was passed in 1977, during Anita Bryant's anti-gay crusade in South Florida.

Steve Lofton and Roger Croteau are the plaintiffs in the case. Together they raised five kids, including three from the foster care system in Florida. They have been named foster parents of the year for their extraordinary commitment to a population of kids too often neglected -- black and HIV-positive. The couple is suing for the right to legally adopt the kids. The Lofton-Croteau family is the only family the children have ever known.

O'Donnell, a long time child welfare advocate, was so moved by the Florida couple and their lawsuit, she picked up her phone last summer and called the ACLU to lend support.

``When we sat down with Rosie to talk about this, she knew she wanted [the interview] to be with Diane Sawyer," said Eric Ferrero, public education director of the ACLU's Lesbian and Gay Rights Project. ``She's done a lot of pieces on foster care in America."

From the beginning, Ferrero said, O'Donnell wanted the segment to be broad and not focused on her coming out. It's something he said that was important to both her and the ACLU. Ferrero remembers O'Donnell contacting the ACLU with legal questions last summer, he said, which were answered by their legal team. ``They mentioned to me that they had this call and, of course, my reaction was that we needed to get back on the phone with her and talk about the different ways she could get involved and move this forward not just in Florida but nationwide."

Ferrero said that one of the things they wanted to do was to put a familiar face on gay parenting. Someone America knows and loves, he added. ``I think we accomplished that. We wanted to be able to say that if you think gay parents are strange or bad, you need to think again. By using someone they know and trust, it changes everything," Ferrero said. ``To do it in conjunction with a really compelling story of a family so directly threatened by this law, it packs a one-two punch."

The Gay and Lesbian Rights Project has since launched the Web site www.LetHimStay.com. The site includes information on the lawsuit and gay parenting restrictions. In addition, it provides an area where visitors can send messages directly to Kathleen Kearney, secretary of Florida's Department of Children and Families, and Governor Jeb Bush. As of March 19, more than 225,000 letters have been sent to Bush via the Web site, Ferrero said. Though some of it was hate mail, most were letters of support, he said.

Local reaction by gay and lesbian parents was one of appreciation and validation. While O'Donnell might have wowed the country with her frank and intelligent insight on a hushed subject, no population could have been more moved than that of gay and lesbian parents.

``I was happy to hear her say George Bush was wrong," said Cheryl Bezis, a lesbian parent from Jamaica Plain. ``She was very direct. The more public figures and TV personalities that come out, the more normalized gay families become. She's so loved by Middle America. She's not a threatening personality and in that sense she's a good spokesperson. When some people think about gays and lesbians, they think about wild and crazy lifestyles. She makes us look pretty normal."

Dorina Abdulah, Bezis's partner, said she thinks O'Donnell's interview will have a far-reaching impact. ``It gets the topic out there and open to discussion," she said. ``I hadn't even been aware of the case in Florida and I was crying for those two men who had such love to give. We have a friend whose daughter was HIV-positive when they adopted her and there's so much love and care that goes into everything."

Of the Florida couple's kids, Abdulah observed, ``They were so healthy and so together." Lofton and Croteau, she said, ``are like angels among us."

The Jamaica Plain couple's 13-year-old daughter Cleo, who admits to being a huge fan of Rosie's show, said she had ``no clue" O'Donnell was a lesbian and that she likes her even more now. Cleo said she also stayed up to see some of O'Donnell's interview on ``Prime Time:" ``I thought she talked about issues well. I don't think she over-did it. I think she proved that sometimes you really don't know (who is gay and who isn't). I would never have guessed in a million years."

Liz Coolidge, a lesbian parent and coordinator of LGBT Family and Parenting Services at Boston's Fenway Community Health Center, said she thought O'Donnell's commitment to finding children homes is commendable. In addition, she said, ``I think it always helps when any gay or lesbian person who is known in the media comes out and shows some aspect of their life beyond their sexuality."

The Family Research Council (FRC), a conservative bible-based organization, blasted O'Donnell and ``Prime Time" for what it says is ``rhetoric that homosexual activists are using to oppose the Florida law is faulty at best and in many cases untrue." The group states they believe that children who grow up without a father and a mother versus two mothers or two fathers are disadvantaged and that anything that promotes otherwise is detrimental to the welfare of the child. Studies such as those released by the distinguished American Pediatric Association, which recently came out in support of gay adoptions, were labeled by FRC as ``bad science being used by homosexual activists."

David (who doesn't want his real name used) and his partner in Haverhill say they were happy to see O'Donnell make her plea on ``Prime Time," but said they believe what isn't talked about enough is how more difficult it is for gay-male couples to adopt than it is for lesbians. ``I found the interview interesting," David said, but ``I think she should have done this earlier. But, I'm certainly glad she did it now, rather than never." David and his partner are both 25 and have been together five years. David recently married a female friend in an effort to expedite their adoption, which might not happen otherwise.

Of Rosie's interview, David said he worries people will only remember that she is gay and will forget the adoption struggles of the couple in Florida. ``I think people are more charged on her coming out," he said, but hopefully not. ``I do think at least gays and lesbians paid attention to both stories."

Beth Berlo is a staff writer at Bay Windows. Her e-mail address is bberlo@aol.com.

Comments, criticism or praise regarding this article or writer -- or just about any other subject of interest to the lesbian and gay community -- are always welcome.